RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted September 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 20, 2019 (edited) I've been vacuuming with the lights off, carrying a Harris hawk and a Kestrel. "Hawk Kestrel man Hoovers in the dark" Edited September 20, 2019 by Ramblin Rich add video 2 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted September 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Ramblin Rich said: I've been vacuuming with the lights off, carrying a Harris hawk and a Kestrel. "Hawk Kestrel man Hoovers in the dark" Wow, that took a bit of constructing! Mike. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 I had some scrumpy last night, but I didn't like the ciderfects. Just found out the new feather duvet I've just bought has a downside. 2 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcolmcelyn Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 On 17/09/2019 at 18:20, great central said: I've posted this before somewhere, still a giggle. There was also an El Passo driving school in Nottingham. Can I have fish, chips and a firkin? What's a firkin? A firkin big bag to put 'em in! 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post luckymucklebackit Posted September 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 20, 2019 4 hours ago, Ramblin Rich said: I've been vacuuming with the lights off, carrying a Harris hawk and a Kestrel. "Hawk Kestrel man Hoovers in the dark" 5 8 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Chris116 Posted September 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 20, 2019 12 minutes ago, malcolmcelyn said: Can I have fish, chips and a firkin? What's a firkin? A firkin big bag to put 'em in! A firkin is 41 litres or a quarter of a barrel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarlywolf Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 3 hours ago, jcm@gwr said: I had some scrumpy last night, but I didn't like the ciderfects. Just found out the new feather duvet I've just bought has a downside. How do you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from a duck 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Ramblin Rich Posted September 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 20, 2019 5 hours ago, Enterprisingwestern said: Wow, that took a bit of constructing! Mike. Thanks, it's a shame I don't devote as much effort to my layout! 2 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Oh I do like that! Just needs a picture of a man after Kestrel though 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 11 minutes ago, Ramblin Rich said: Thanks, it's a shame I don't devote as much effort to my layout! Oh I do like that! Just needs a picture of a man after Kestrel though There is a bloke standing just to the side of Kestrel - thought that would suffice 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 20, 2019 Its been reported that teams taking part in the rugby world cup use shampoo on the balls to simulate playing in wet weather. All except the Welsh who soak their balls in baby oil. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 I wonder Is rivalry between two vegans still called a beef ?. 4 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sprintex Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 3 hours ago, peanuts said: I wonder Is rivalry between two vegans still called a beef ?. No, it's a tofu Paul 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcm@gwr Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 What did engineers go back to, before they invented the drawing board? 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 3 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 22, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 22, 2019 What gets long when you jerk it, fits between boobs, slides into a hole and loves to be pulled? A seat belt, what else were you thinking of? 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymw Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Mine locks up when you jerk it, In order to extend it you have to pull gently. and it has no feelings, wrt love/hate. It just does it's job, but now its a bit old and tired. It needs a check up, being a bit ragged, where its been caught in the door lock. It's been a long time since its been between boobs, I don't often have anybody riding with me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted September 22, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 22, 2019 I’m so old I don’t have one fitted at all. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted September 23, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 23, 2019 15 hours ago, raymw said: Mine locks up when you jerk it, In order to extend it you have to pull gently. and it has no feelings, wrt love/hate. It just does it's job, but now its a bit old and tired. It needs a check up, being a bit ragged, where its been caught in the door lock. It's been a long time since its been between boobs, I don't often have anybody riding with me. I assume your talking about a seat belt? 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 On 22/09/2019 at 12:03, peanuts said: I was surprised they were still going. I've never been on a package holiday and never had the inclination to go on one. Feel sorry for those affected though. Jason 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Damo666 Posted September 23, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted September 23, 2019 Testicle Therapy Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me', she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'? He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.' 1 26 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
manna Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 G'Day Folks 2 14 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB-AU Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 Two Scousers are looking at pictures of cars on their phones. One says to the other "That's the one I'd get". A cyclops punched him. 1 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold ikks Posted September 25, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted September 25, 2019 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted September 25, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted September 25, 2019 1 hour ago, ikks said: Better than some! 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted September 25, 2019 Share Posted September 25, 2019 (edited) An elderly couple called Bert and Betty from Yorkshire was driving in Lancashire. The woman was driving erratically when she got pulled over by the police. The officer said, "Madam did you know you were speeding?" Betty, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Bert yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The policeman said, "May I see your licence?" Betty turned to her husband once again and asked, "What did he say?" Bert yelled, "He wants to see your licence!" Betty gave the officer her licence. The policeman then said, "I see you are from Yorkshire. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most ugly, annoying woman I've ever met." Betty turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" Bert yells, "He said he thinks he knows you!" Edited September 25, 2019 by Steamport Southport 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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