leopardml2341 Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 (edited) 23 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Quasimodo "Now where did I put my cigarette?" Phil, a few posts back, you were asking for a groan button. Now I see why Though I must admit to relaying your post to others 'off forum' and it's brought a smile to a number of faces Edited April 18, 2019 by leopardml2341 Added info 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 2 hours ago, leopardml2341 said: Phil, a few posts back, you were asking for a groan button. Now I see why I have a simpler solution - the "Ignore this topic" button. Peace at last!! Regards J 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions. (S.Milligan) 2 1 10 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted April 17, 2019 Share Posted April 17, 2019 Well, there are times I very much want a "groan" button but . . . I get enough laughs here that it is totally worth it! 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium BR60103 Posted April 18, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 18, 2019 13 hours ago, Reorte said: Any time someone says what a great invention the internet is they just need pointing to this thread! Someone recently asked who thought it was a good idea to put all the idiots in the world in touch with each other. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted April 18, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 18, 2019 4 hours ago, BR60103 said: Someone recently asked who thought it was a good idea to put all the idiots in the world in touch with each other. , and then call them governments? Mike. 7 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted April 18, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 18, 2019 After being discharged from Casualty for the third time in 2 weeks, we decided we needed a better safe word than "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"............. 1 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted April 18, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 18, 2019 (edited) 9 minutes ago, jf2682 said: Naughty!! There are more. Edited in the interests of decency............... Edited April 18, 2019 by newbryford 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted April 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 20, 2019 Just applied for a job with Citreon. I had to put in 2CV's 2 1 15 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted April 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 20, 2019 16 minutes ago, peanuts said: Just applied for a job with Citreon. I had to put in 2CV's Lucky you didn't apply at Renault. Mike. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 On 16/04/2019 at 23:43, raymw said: I was sort of trying to show Jason that the jokes could get much worse. Maybe revive the elephant/custard/mini jokes.... On that note - what's yellow & dangerous? Shark-infested custard. What's not yellow but still dangerous? Shark-infested yoghurt. Thankyou very much, I shall leave by the drain... 1 8 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Two blokes came back after a night on the tiles and tried to snort curry powder. One ended up with a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma..... 1 1 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted April 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 20, 2019 On 18/04/2019 at 22:32, newbryford said: After being discharged from Casualty for the third time in 2 weeks, we decided we needed a better safe word than "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"............. Can you actually pronounce it? ( I can ) 2 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted April 21, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 21, 2019 10 hours ago, Stubby47 said: Can you actually pronounce it? ( I can ) Why do you think we ended up in casualty......? 1 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Stubby47 Posted April 21, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 21, 2019 23 minutes ago, newbryford said: Why do you think we ended up in casualty......? B'dum-tsh! 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Storey Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 11 hours ago, Stubby47 said: Can you actually pronounce it? ( I can ) Go on then! 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Sidecar Racer Posted April 21, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 21, 2019 3 hours ago, Stubby47 said: B'dum-tsh! https://www.wimp.com/two-drums-and-a-cymbal-fall-off-a-cliff/ 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Easy. Plenty of online tutorials. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cy-Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch_(Welsh_pronunciation,_recorded_17-05-2012).ogg Personally I learnt how to pronounce Welsh place names from TV as I could only get BBC Wales, HTV and S4C at one point due to transmitter/aerial issues. Watching Pobol Y Cwm with subtitles because there was nothing else on is a bit of an education. Jason 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 When told i was completely cured of dyslexia, it was music to my arse. steve 1 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Wife to Husband - "My dear, what are your plans for the three day holiday weekend starting Good Friday?" Husband - "The same as Jesus. I shall disappear on Friday and reappear on Sunday...." Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 34 minutes ago, The Snapper said: Wife to Husband - "My dear, what are your plans for the three day holiday weekend starting Good Friday?" Husband - "The same as Jesus. I shall disappear on Friday and reappear on Sunday...." Hope you enjoy hanging about, quite so much as the person you wish to emulate. Most of us would pale at the thought of making such a comment to our dearly beloved, the spirit of Oliver Cromwell lives on, apparently. Good luck.................... Regards Julian Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted April 21, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 21, 2019 1 minute ago, jcredfer said: Hope you enjoy hanging about, quite so much as the person you wish to emulate. Most of us would pale at the thought of making such a comment to our dearly beloved, the spirit of Oliver Cromwell lives on, apparently. Good luck.................... Regards Julian Huh...... 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittenDormer Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Is this the right place to confess that I have been banned from B&Q (other similar establishments available for the purpose of cheap jokes)? One of their assistants came up to me and said "do you want decking?", so I hit him first. 1 1 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 16 minutes ago, chris p bacon said: Huh...... It's, in part, Biblical reference and part British historical. {"Hanging about" - biblical; "Oliver C" - not the most emancipated of persons!} Regards Julian Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted April 21, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 21, 2019 Just now, jcredfer said: It's, in part, Biblical reference and part British historical. {"Hanging about" - biblical; "Oliver C" - not the most emancipated of persons!} Regards Julian Afraid I still don't get the joke.... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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