RMweb Gold Enterprisingwestern Posted December 16, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 16, 2019 35 minutes ago, kevinlms said: I posted it elsewhere, but didn't put your 'A joke with no punch line' line in. Instead, just renamed the cartoon as 'No punch line', even more subtle and confusing the group members! Isn't the idea you don't write anything, that's the whole point of the joke, or does that make it too difficult for people to work out theses days? Mike. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted December 16, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 16, 2019 49 minutes ago, Enterprisingwestern said: Isn't the idea you don't write anything, that's the whole point of the joke, or does that make it too difficult for people to work out theses days? Mike. My way the answer was there, but a bit of work required! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted December 16, 2019 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted December 16, 2019 A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway: At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, The trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?" The trooper asks. "What are you doing?" The young man says. "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says. "And, her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs. "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails." Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing is happening! The trooper asks. "What's your age, young man?" The young man says. "I'm 22, sir." The trooper asks. "And her, what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and replies. "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes." 1 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
F-UnitMad Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Your Uber Driver will be with you shortly... 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve1 Posted December 16, 2019 Share Posted December 16, 2019 ?????? steve 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welly Posted December 16, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 16, 2019 ^^^ His face is so creepy looking! 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Welly Posted December 16, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 16, 2019 I had no idea what to get my wife for Xmas so I checked her browser history for ideas and got her this... https://imgur.com/xs2TtqU 2 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted December 17, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 17, 2019 14 hours ago, Colin_McLeod said: A State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway: At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in lovers' lane, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails. Puzzled by this surprising situation, The trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?" The trooper asks. "What are you doing?" The young man says. "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says. "And, her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs. "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails." Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane and nothing is happening! The trooper asks. "What's your age, young man?" The young man says. "I'm 22, sir." The trooper asks. "And her, what's her age?" The young man looks at his watch and replies. "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes." True story; happened in Canada to my nephew, caning it a bit in his old Buick down a highway late one night well over the speed limit when he was pulled over by the Mounties (they have cars these days, as well as horses, and by and large it is advisable not to mess with them). The interaction went something like:- Mountie: 'Do you know how fast you were going back there, sonny?' Peter: 'Quite fast officer; I'm very sorry and it won't happen again' Mountie: 'Not letting you off that easily sonny jim' and pulls out his book of speeding tickets. Peter, meanwhile, gets out his wallet and hands his driving license to the Mountie with a $50 bill folded inside it. Mountie: 'Son, are you trying to bribe me?' Peter: 'Certainly not, Officer, I just thought I'd take the opportunity of contributing to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police's annual xmas ball'. Mountie: 'Why, thank you son, but the Royal Canadian Mounted Police do not have b-'... (rips up ticket) 'Take it easy on the rest of your way home, son'. 1 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 17, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 17, 2019 Do not drink and wrap Christmas presents. If you get a TV remote control for Christmas please send it back. 15 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 18, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 18, 2019 Is bumcheeks one word or should I spread them apart? 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
davefromacrossthepond Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 22 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Do not drink and wrap Christmas presents. If you get a TV remote control for Christmas please send it back. Ok guys, I'll admit it. I didn't "get it" at first. Even after several readings I was still clueless. My wife, read it once and began laughing big time. Upon explaining it to me I don't know if I was laughing harder at the joke or at my inability to figure it out. Oh well, luckily she's around to explain things to me. 1 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 18, 2019 Share Posted December 18, 2019 23 hours ago, PhilJ W said: Do not drink and wrap Christmas presents. If you get a TV remote control for Christmas please send it back. Given the number of presents sent..... ..... It's a bit of a stab in the dark. Regards J 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post peanuts Posted December 19, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted December 19, 2019 1 1 20 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 A rather "racy" Escort too..... Julian 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Popular Post PhilJ W Posted December 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Popular Post Share Posted December 20, 2019 My wife was overjoyed when I told her I'd booked a table for Christmas day. I didn't even know she could play snooker. 2 22 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Reminder. This Christmas make sure you have enough food in the freezer for 27 days ———————— When the shops are only closed for 24 hours. 1 8 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthBrit Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 (edited) Christmas Dinner Tips Forget Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey etc. 1) It's only a Sunday Lunch you do the other 51 weeks in the year. 2) Turkey 20 mins per pound plus 20 mins. 3) Stuffing. Simple, Paxo 4) Roast potatoes. Aunt Bessies of course. 5) Yorkshire pud. Aunt Bessies 6) Christmas pud. Don't bother. You are too full anyway. Eat the thing in July like you normally do. 7) Mince pies. Forget about the best taste ones are ----. You are in your local supermarket. They will do. 8) Alcohol. Lock the good stuff away. Buy the cheap stuff for guests. They are no wiser anyway. 9) I nearly forgot. Gravy. Bisto Merry Christmas Edited December 20, 2019 by NorthBrit Error 5 4 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold BoD Posted December 20, 2019 RMweb Gold Share Posted December 20, 2019 Dear Santa Just a short note to let you know that yes, I have been naughty this year and yes, I did enjoy it you fat, interfering b******!!!! 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium newbryford Posted December 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 20, 2019 12 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo675 Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Why does Father Christmas not have any children ? He only comes once a year and that's down the chimney ! Gibbo. 1 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
pH Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Notice pinned up behind the registration desk at the local hospital last week: "Santa - define 'naughty'?" 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted December 20, 2019 RMweb Premium Share Posted December 20, 2019 4 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
peanuts Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 1 1 12 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MM1991 Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 (edited) What kind of bee's produce milk? Boo-bees Edited December 20, 2019 by MM1991 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Two topical ones. Jason 1 2 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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