bgman

Bullhead. For men of action.

Beer will do.

Flat bottom - for men of inaction.

Best accompanied by a veg curry.

As Worf also said to Guinan: Human females are too fragile for me.....

Stand clear the jet pipe!

No need to put he central heating on tonight then.

Penblwydd hapus, Graeme.

'ere geezer... that's almost a coincidence as it's my birthday tomorrow. In fact it's the 10th anniversary of my 39th birthday. No candles required but I shall have a sip of something even if it's my sterident water for breakfast

Lunch.

There's a really interesting discussion about the merits of different track gauges ;-)

Did you expect to miss very much?

Depends how much wine you spill on it

Ask the locals.

Depends on the gauge.

Nice one.

Bloody good show!!!

Well done!

~normal for Norfolk~

Quite warm inside the engine rooms of the new NR 73s isn't it?

8.9C doesn't sound all that hot to me.

Don't forget the knotted head handkerchief and of course paisley socks and sock suspenders. Anything less would be unthinkable.

Send us a piccy when you are there - please don't!

Don’t forget your bling while you’re at it!

For anyone on the naughty step they can have some of Charlie's Duchy biscuits, they're just about the worst biscuit I have ever encountered. I think they may have been laser-cut MDF.

Shortbread and Chocolate Chip...

I've been told they do some decent cookies in the German discount supermarkets - and you don't need to imagine what they might "virtually" taste of.

Betty Swollocks?

Meeeeeeee! I have a big fanny up there.

No, went for a trundle behind 41313 on the East Somerset and drove Sentinel PBA39

...and that's the bald truth.

'pends where you put it!

Fab custard is just as good as bryl cream especially with super apple pie

That’s one heck of a way to obtain a proper finish!

I watched a fly being pumped down in large Vacuum Chamber once. The fly was happy until about ½ an atmosphere when it started 'looking' around for the danger. At a 1/3 atmosphere it started jumping up (not very high!) to fly away. At 10% it was in continual 'hop' mode before finally giving up!

There is a new spray out for flies, it doesn't kill them, but acts like an aphrodisiac - means you can swat them in pairs...

If it was a ### ####### it must have been a ####

What are you two on about now?

Matt Lucas was sat in my Polling Station this morning - or it was his twin brother... Wasn't too sure about stepping into the cubicle..

I will weap my rewengay!

Wot abowt Woderwick the notorious?

Congratulations, Grahame - I know you've been excitedly waiting for it!

Well done grandad!

well done now you need to start buying wooden trains

Great plan......err my mogs is ginger and white!

RSPCA & Cats Protection on full alert!

If that's not animal cruelty, it otter be.

The TV obliges and is soon to be seeen crewing a dinghy on the River Camel.

Loads of themhere - escaped from the wildlife park and breed like hell!

They have telvision in Launceston?

They're in the handbag...

That wouldn't have been hard to type........

That play was a flop.

Depends how tightly one is girded and if one's loins are tender!!

How about gridding one's sirloins...?

I didn't know you kept lions.

Giovani Comparo............Why do I know that?

Can't be any worse than the other tw@t parking his car in the Confused.com advert. In the words of Father Jack is that Gobsh*te on TV again.

or the twerking guys in the hot pants or the meerkats. They all make us remember though...

The Telegraph says that a polar bear has been sighted in the Outer Hebrides!

Ah Spaghetti trees time again.

Unfortunately not. Since the EU introduced the quota on Drangles, Twoggling has become a rich man (or woman's) game - shame!.

Have you tried weekin' a snook?

There are some activities in Horrocksford that might interest you.

The truth is out there

The gnomes can't help you with that one.

Gosh! I thought there could be no better use for boiling water than tea. One lives and learns.

Want to get one of those high pressure water hose's

One of those pressurised plant sprayers with the nozzle poking through the letterbox is ideal against jehovahs and trick or treaters.