How to get lynched at a model railway show

[Zomboid]

And a lot of British railway stations have pay turn-styles these days . . . . 20p being the usual charge just for a pee.

 

G.

I can confirm that you don't have to pay any extra to pass solids though...

[rab]

So THAT'S why you're leaving!

No we're just pi**ed off!

[Horsetan]

How to get lynched by one individual...

 

Drop a "Dapol O wagons For Sale" sign on Mr Swain's Trade Stand.....

There.

[Philip Jackson]

And a lot of British railway stations have pay turn-styles these days . . . . 20p being the usual charge just for a pee.

 

G. 

50p in London

[bluebottle]

I've a vague memory of seeing a beautifully maintained public toilet in Vienna about thirty years back, its freshly-painted cast-iron walls embossed with the information - IIRC -

 

                                                                                                             TOILETTEN MIT WASCHBECKEN - EIN GROSCHEN

                                                                                                                                            PISSEN FREI

 

Edit: slight change to wording.

Edited July 22, 2016 by bluebottle

[bluebottle]

I've a vague memory of seeing a beautifully maintained public toilet in Vienna about thirty years back, its freshly painted cast-iron walls bearing the information - IIRC:

 

                                                                                                             TOILETTEN MIT WASCHBECKEN - EIN GROSCHEN

                                                                                                                                           PISSEN FREI

 

 

 

Edit: just found this interesting article on Vienna's public toilets: http://www.viennareview.net/on-the-town/city-life/stones-of-vienna/vienna-at-your-convenience-a-history-of-public-toilets-2 

[grahame]

50p in London

30p at Waterloo. Bargain.

 

G.

[talisman56]

I remember my first trip to Paris, and descending to the underground facilities near to L'Arc de Triomphe. There I was, standing in relief, and over the fairly scant partition between me and the outside world, there were women descending to use the female facilities opposite, glancing over with a smile  and a cheery "Bonjour M'sieur" - very eye-opening...

[Tim Hall]

I remember my first trip to Paris, and descending to the underground facilities near to L'Arc de Triomphe. There I was, standing in relief, and over the fairly scant partition between me and the outside world, there were women descending to use the female facilities opposite, glancing over with a smile  and a cheery "Bonjour M'sieur" - very eye-opening...

Whilst using the gentleman's facilities at a castle in the Ardennes a few years ago, I was in full flow when it occurred to me that I was able to see out though a large, full length window, onto a children's playground.....arghh

 

The cleaning ladies mopping round your feet seems a bit tame after that....

[bgman]

Selling deodorant to the smelly brigade prior to entering a show ! If you get my drift ? )

Edited July 22, 2016 by bgman

[PhilJ W]

I remember my first trip to Paris, and descending to the underground facilities near to L'Arc de Triomphe. There I was, standing in relief, and over the fairly scant partition between me and the outside world, there were women descending to use the female facilities opposite, glancing over with a smile  and a cheery "Bonjour M'sieur" - very eye-opening...

When on a trip to Paris back in the seventies I needed to use the 'facilities' in a cafe near to the Eiffel Tower. The 'facilities' were a couple of urinals in a corridor alongside which was a pay phone. There I was in full flow when this elderly woman came and stood beside me to use the phone.

[Iain Popplewell]

When on a trip to Paris back in the seventies I needed to use the 'facilities' in a cafe near to the Eiffel Tower. The 'facilities' were a couple of urinals in a corridor alongside which was a pay phone. There I was in full flow when this elderly woman came and stood beside me to use the phone.

 

 Bit embarrassing that Phil.

 

 Many years ago myself and my father walked the West Highland way.Several days into the walk we were traversing what should have been one of our easiest days of walking, a mere eight miles across the moor to Crianlarich. Unfortunately for me for the first and hopefully last time in my life I was afflicted by a bad case of piles. It was a scorching hot day and with sweat trickling down my back as I winced along my agony can well be imagined.After the longest four miles of my life and in the middle of nowhere we came to a wooden bridge over a shallow gorge in which flowed a babbling stream. Luckily for me my father had been a medic during his national service and was well versed in treatment for my aforesaid affliction and suggested I douse and cool my backside in the stream.

 

 In my desperation I quickly removed my boots and stripped down from the waist I picked my way into the centre of the stream and squatted down.As the ice cold mountain water closed over my rear I can only state that my feeling of relief was considerable.Believe you me it has to be experienced to truly know what I mean.

 

My elation was quenched however when I was distracted by the sound of loud laughter and quickly glancing up the hillside I saw my father rolling around in a virtual paroxysm of mirth. Looking up to the bridge above me I was greeted by the horrendous sight of a pack of five girl guides gazing down upon me from the balustrade of the bridge!!

 

My father had some how contrived to fail to warn me of their approach.

 

A bit embarrassing you might say.

Edited July 22, 2016 by iainp

[Horsetan]

Selling deodorant to the smelly brigade prior to entering a show ! If you get my drift ? )

 

You'd have to relabel the aerosols S "OO" RE for Men.....

[ColinK]

Many years ago my dad and I were walking on Winter Hill ne Christmas Day. We both needed the loo, we looked around and there was nobody around for miles. So we p****d while admiring the scenery, in mid flow a hang glider swooped down from the sky.

[bluebottle]

A friend told me of a party he attended in a large flat in Edinburgh New Town. When, in the early hours, the party broke up, those who were staying found their ways to whatever beds or sleeping bags were available. A little later, my friend awoke needing to urinate, and as all was quiet he went naked to the toilet.

You've probably guessed it; when he left the loo, the corridor was lined with more modest guests - mainly female, as it happened - awaiting their turns. There was a moment's silence then a solemn round of applause as he made a dignified retreat.

As he had something of a reputation as a ladies' man, the general consensus later was that he had successfully carried off a premeditated publicity stunt...

[jamie92208]

Many years ago on a police social club trip to Redcar races we had to make a stop on the Thirsk bypass for some colleagues to offload. One Inspector was too lazy to go down the banking and used the side of the bus. The bus driver didn't like this and pulled forward leaving Ronnie with his nads clasped behind his back, watering the hard shoulder. Thanks heavens it was before the days of mobile phones.

 

Jamie

[5050]

Many years ago on a police social club trip to Redcar races we had to make a stop on the Thirsk bypass for some colleagues to offload. One Inspector was too lazy to go down the banking and used the side of the bus. The bus driver didn't like this and pulled forward leaving Ronnie with his nads clasped behind his back, watering the hard shoulder. Thanks heavens it was before the days of mobile phones.

 

Jamie

I thought it was still legal to perform over the rear offside wheel of a chara'?

[PhilJ W]

Many years ago on a police social club trip to Redcar races we had to make a stop on the Thirsk bypass for some colleagues to offload. One Inspector was too lazy to go down the banking and used the side of the bus. The bus driver didn't like this and pulled forward leaving Ronnie with his nads clasped behind his back, watering the hard shoulder. Thanks heavens it was before the days of mobile phones.

 

Jamie

I wonder what would have happened if a patrol car had come by?

[petethemole]

Possibly something similar to the (alleged) occasion when an unmarked car full of senior Met CID officers returning from a case meeting in Southend was pulled over for speeding on the A127 (or A13) by an Essex bike cop; "There are four professional liars in this vehicle who will swear we were within the limit". Possibly an urban myth, I heard it when I lived in Southend nearly 50 years ago. The limit concerned would presumably have been 30 in one of the urban areas those roads passed through, rather than the later national 70 limit.

[Penlan]

I thought it was still legal to perform over the rear offside wheel of a chara'?

Oh, I'm so tempted to reply, but who knows who will read this, so  I shall ..................................

[BlackRat]

Ahhhhhhh police clubs........happy daze!

[Horsetan]

Ahhhhhhh police clubs....

Is that the proper term for truncheons, then?

[andytrains]

Is that the proper term for truncheons, then?

You would not understand.

[AndrewC]

This thread has degenerated into a p!sstake.

 

Something rather disturbing last week in Woolwich. (I know its Woolwich, but this was in the new snooty bit) A woman, more or less, and obviously having recently abused some illicit substance was waiting to cross the main road. She eventually just wandered into traffic nearly getting hit twice. She then walked into the green space in front of the Dial Arch public house. At the time there must have been around 100 people on the patio and at least 40 in the green space including children enjoying the early evening hot weather. She staggered up to the side of the building, dropped her shorts, and squatted. I don't think I've ever heard so much vitriol directed at another human being in my life. She ignored it all, stood up, hiked up her shorts and walked away, totally oblivious to the scene she'd just created. There are some things you just can't un-see.

[jamie92208]

This thread has degenerated into a p!sstake.

 

Something rather disturbing last week in Woolwich. (I know its Woolwich, but this was in the new snooty bit) A woman, more or less, and obviously having recently abused some illicit substance was waiting to cross the main road. She eventually just wandered into traffic nearly getting hit twice. She then walked into the green space in front of the Dial Arch public house. At the time there must have been around 100 people on the patio and at least 40 in the green space including children enjoying the early evening hot weather. She staggered up to the side of the building, dropped her shorts, and squatted. I don't think I've ever heard so much vitriol directed at another human being in my life. She ignored it all, stood up, hiked up her shorts and walked away, totally oblivious to the scene she'd just created. There are some things you just can't un-see.

 

You've obviously not been to Pontefract on a weekend.

 

Jamie